A woman has confessed to Reddit users that she refuses to go on vacation with her disabled friend — and most people don’t blame her.
The unnamed woman posted her story to the “Am I The A – -hole” subreddit, explaining she no longer wanted to holiday with her childhood friend, whom she called “Ashley,” following a troubling first trip they took together.
The two of them, both in their 30s, have known each other since they were 13 years old and stayed in touch despite drifting apart after high school.
“We planned to go on a short vacation together to the city which was Ashley’s idea, we planned this over a year in advance to stay for 3 nights,” the post started.
The woman shared that Ashley is disabled and has fibromyalgia, a chronic disorder that causes widespread pain and tenderness all over the body as well as fatigue and sleep troubles, according to the National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases.
She admitted that while their first and only vacation together wasn’t exactly horrible, she “found being around Ashley stressful.”
According to the woman, Ashley “extremely overpacked,” bringing seven outfits, multiple types of hair dryers and other stuff “that just wasn’t needed.”
Ashley “was always complaining about how heavy her bags are. She insisted on going for long walks through the city but then would get tired and say we need to get a taxi home as she can’t walk back.”
However, she said the final straw for her was Ashley’s “full-on meltdown” at the train station when they were getting ready to go home.
“We got to the desk and she asked the staff if there was a wheelchair available she could use as she was struggling to walk any further to get to her platform,” the Reddit user wrote. “They said they were all being used and asked if she booked assistance and she hadn’t, and they told her a chair should be available in around an hour.”
“Ashley lost her cool and yelled at them and said that she’s going to miss her train, and she sat on the floor. I tried to calm her down but there was just no use. She was very insulting and called them names, it was so embarrassing.”
The woman stayed with Ashley until a manager eventually arrived with a wheelchair. The manager assisted Ashley and she went home.
Two days later, when they were both home, Ashley asked the woman if she wanted to do a similar vacation the following year — to which the poster responded “no thanks.”
“I tried to explain to her that I think after our experience it’s better if we don’t vacation together. Ashley is now angry with me and said I’m being ableist but I struggle to put up with how disorganised she is in regards to her own needs,” she wrote.
In response to the poster’s inquiry, “AITA for refusing to vacation with my disabled friend anymore?,” Reddit users largely agreed that she is not the a – – hole.
“Her behavior has nothing to do with a disability so that shouldn’t even be mentioned, except where she tried to make it an excuse (gross),” one person commented.
“Agreed, I have MS. I know I can only walk so much each day, so I plan my life around what I can do. When I overdo it, it’s my fault. I don’t abuse others because I didn’t budget my limitations properly,” another chimed in.
“Being disabled doesn’t mean she can throw tantrums and disparage people to get her way,” another declared.
“NTA – you aren’t being an ableist. You’re choosing not to vacation with someone who was not properly prepared for the trip and who caused a scene after not making the necessary reservations. It has nothing to do with her illness,” a separate user wrote.
Someone who said they also have fibromyalgia wrote that she “feels bad” for the poster and she is not the a – – hole.
“She should know she can’t do all that walking, and all that overpacking, and none of that carrying, guuurl, carrying should be a NO,” she wrote. “But damn, that sounds like someone who does not know how to assess her own physical capabilities and boundaries. Poor summer child wants to do it again, oooh no, baby, nooo.”